


Trite Romantic Comedies

by voleuse



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-04
Updated: 2004-04-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 06:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voleuse/pseuds/voleuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just like in the movies.  Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trite Romantic Comedies

**Author's Note:**

> Set during early S5, before Glory made her appearance.

It was a bright, sunny, beautiful afternoon in Sunnydale, California, and that's why Buffy was aiming oblique, yet pointed remarks at Giles oh-so-British exterior. He'd even gone back to wearing tweed for the day, which she felt free to snark about between marching boxes from bookshelf to storage room.

"No, no, it's not like any of us has a life or anything, not that we have _boyfriends_ or anything, we'd _love_ to help you move your boxes of dusty books around your house, Giles."

For the most part, Giles ignored Buffy's barely coherent rants, though once in a while, he would nod vaguely and say, "Thank you."

Giles wasn't so good with the sarcasm when books were involved, Buffy thought. "And why," she continued out loud, "did Willow refuse to help us move books? She could have used her witchy-fu and gotten this done in a snap."

"Busy," Xander grunted as he handed Buffy another box. "And something about how she wanted no part of this."

"And I agree with her," Anya chirped from the kitchen, "but I had to come help anyway." She rummaged through the refrigerator. "The least Giles could do is feed us." She looked in a cupboard. "Hey, Spam!"

Buffy, Xander, and Riley turned to stare up at Giles, as he peered down sheepishly from his loft. "Um. Emergency food. Someone told me to stock non-perishables for earthquakes."

"Right," Buffy said slowly. "Ew."

Riley grinned as he carefully transferred priceless texts into a box marked **Old Books That We Can't Read Out Loud**. "Spam is good emergency food. Well, not food, but--"

Giles rolled his eyes. "Anya, could you come up here and help me move these books?"

"Okay," Anya chirped, abandoning the kitchen and skipping up the stairs.

Xander glanced at his watch. "Aaand that's my cue. I promised Willow I'd help her move into the dorm."

"Aha!" Buffy pointed dramatically at Xander. "Et tu, Xander?"

He looked at her for a second. "Um. Yes?" He grabbed his keys from the counter. "You okay here, Anya?"

"Yes, I'll be fine," she called down. "Can we have sex after you're done helping Willow?"

Xander looked like he was contemplating embarrassment, but he only shrugged. "Sure, Ahn." He waved to Buffy and Riley. "See ya!"

"Say hi to Willow for me," Buffy pouted, lugging yet another box from one room to another.

Xander gone, Buffy in another room, Riley was left to toil by himself, the silence punctuated by bursts of sarcasm from the upper room. And then--

"No, Anya!"

"Watch out!"

From the sky, or really, Giles' bedroom, a large, dusty book came flying down, down, down, until it hit Riley square on the head.

He dropped like a very large potato.

"Riley?" Buffy questioned, walking back into the room. Seeing him lying on the floor, she gasped. "Riley!"

Anya and Giles hurried down the stairs, to join Buffy as she crouched over the dazed Riley. "Are you okay, honey?" she asked.

"You people are dangerous around books," Riley muttered, clutching at his head. "I think I have a concussion."

"You've come to the right place then," Giles laughed and helped Riley up. "I should have some painkillers around here somewhere," he muttered, and led Riley towards the bathroom.

Buffy and Anya watched them wander off, then started stacking books again.

Apropos of nothing, Anya declared, "You and Giles would make a very nice couple."

Buffy startled, dropping the book she was grabbing from the shelf. "What? No, Anya, _Riley_ and I are dating."

"I know," Anya said. "You and Giles would make a better couple."

"I'm dating _Riley_," Buffy repeated, enunciating carefully.

"Angel plus Riley plus a brain equals Giles," Anya replied. "Riley is a nice, normal boy, but he doesn't have superpowers like Angel did. And neither of them are very good at research. Giles is."

Buffy stared at Anya. "Giles has superpowers?"

"Have you ever checked?"

*

 

"There should be some Tylenol in here somewhere," Giles mumbled, rummaging through his medicine cabinet. "Lord knows I've been hit in the head enough times."

"You're such a great guy, Giles," Riley slurred from his seat on the bathtub's rim. "You're the best."

"Yes, thank you." Giles found the sought-for bottle, shook out two pills, and handed them to Riley.

"And Buffy is such a great girl, don't you think?" Riley stared at the pills in his hand. "I need water."

"Right." Giles looked about for a glass, grabbed it from the sink, and started filling it with water.

"Don't you think Buffy's beautiful, Giles?"

"What?" Giles glanced up from the sink. "Yes, of course. Lovely girl."

"She's so..." He wavered in his seat, catching himself before he fell into the bathtub. "She's so beautiful, and funny, and smart, and pretty, and funny..."

"Yes, you said funny already," Giles said, handing Riley the glass of water.

"I love Buffy," Riley proclaimed. "Everybody should love Buffy!"

"Yes, yes," Giles replied. "Drink up."

"What? Oh." Riley swallowed the painkillers, chasing them with the water. "What was I saying?"

"How everybody should love Buffy."

"Right." Riley squinted suspiciously at Giles. "So _you_ love Buffy?"

"I...Of course I do. Not like you, of course, but--"

Riley stood up, swayed for a second before catching his balance. "I knew it! I knew you two had a thing going on, always meeting in the middle of the night to talk about _vampires_ when we all know it's just a metaphor--"

Giles eyed Riley warily. "I think you have a concussion."

Riley swayed again, then leaned heavily on Giles. "I think you're right."

*

 

"Take good care of him, Anya," Buffy ordered.

"Yes, yes," Anya grumbled, stooped under the weight of Riley's arm. "And if the doctors ask if Buffy Summers was involved in the accident, I'll explain it was all my fault."

Riley smiled widely at Buffy. "You're so funny, Buffy."

"Um." Buffy glanced uncertainly at Giles, then blushed. Looked back at Riley. "Thanks."

"Bye!" He waved, and Anya yanked him out the door to his car, his keys in hand.

Buffy and Giles looked at each other, then looked away.

Buffy hopped quickly over to the pile of books and started stuffing them into the box. "So, did you and Riley have a nice talk before he fainted?"

"Um, yes." Giles took off his glasses. Polished them. "Very nice. You and Anya?"

"Yes!" Buffy shouted. "A very nice talk," she amended quickly.

"What did you talk about?"

Buffy blushed. "Nothing."

Giles put his glasses back on, then headed for the stairs. "Right. Same for Riley and I."

"Nothing."

"Nothing."


End file.
